FUNNY QUOTES

No day is so bad it can't be 

fixed with a nap.

--Carrie Snow

I'd been told the training process 
with cats was difficult.  It's not.  
Mine had me trained in two days!
--Bill Dana





What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.
--Pearl Bailey

I put spot remover on my dog.  
Now he's gone.
--Steven Wright





Go to Heaven for the climate, 
Hell for the company.
--Mark Twain

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

--Mae West

Housework can't kill you, 
but why take a chance?
--Phyllis Diller






It's amazing that the amount 
of news that happens in the world 
every day always just exactly fits 
in the newspaper.
--Jerry Seinfeld






How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg?  
Four.  Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
--Abraham Lincoln

I'm undaunted in my quest 
to amuse myself 
by constantly changing 
my hair.
--Hilary Clinton






A man who carries a cat 
by the tail learns something 
he can learn in no other way.
--Mark Twain